An eagle swooped Page 8

  'No,' she answered hastily. 'That was just his way of speaking. You see, if if you hadn't wanted me '

  'You intended consoling yourself with someone else?'

  'You frighten me,' she whispered convulsively. 'Paul, what's happening to our marriage?' She went to him, and put her hands against his chest. 'You promised .you wouldn't change.'

  'All people change.'

  'But—'Bewilderedly she stared at him, as if she would read his thoughts. 'We've been married less than a month, and I love you so—'

  'Love! Yes, you love me,' he agreed exultantly. 'You'll always love me. Come, show me how much' He swept her into his arms and kissed her roughly, without respect. 'Show me how much, my worshipful Lucinda my beautiful wife whom I cannot see. '

  CHAPTER V

  SLOWLY, slowly .... The words kept repeating themselves over and over again in Tessa's mind. But why? 'Darling, what are you doing?' Her husband's soft and tender voice came to her and she glanced over the balcony rail to the flower strewn garden down below .. Paul was sitting in a wide cane chair; the radio stood on a matching table close by. It was turned down so low that Tessa could scarcely hear the lively bouzouki music that was being broadcast. She did not answer at once and it was the first time, she realized with a little sense of shock, that she had not hastened eagerly to give him her response. Instead, she returned her gaze to the clear wide view of the sea. Indigo and turquoise, with the channels of glass meandering, as if reflecting currents beneath the surface. Farther out the silver sheen was even more pronounced, widening away towards the line where' the expanse of sea dropped over the horizon.

  Her pensive gaze came back to the man below, and once again she saw him as all Greek. Fierce and brave- brave he certainly was when, having escaped unscathed from that inferno, he had tried to beat the flames in an attempt to rescue his beloved. Strong, too, with an emotional depth to his character which she knew she had not yet encountered. What was this man she had married?—this man to whom she had given her heart on first gazing into his eyes? The fact that he was not the man she had believed him to be she now bitterly accepted. His voice reached her again, still patient, loving, gentle. 'What was he trying to do to her? This cat and mouse game, this raising her to the heights and bringing her down to the depths. Each time the heights were not quite so lofty, and each lime the depths were just a little deeper. Where would it end?

  'I'm coming, Paul.' White steps led from the balcony to the garden, steps bordered with flowers growing in pots geraniums and lilies, roses and the lovely cultivated ciprus bushes. 'Do you want something?'

  'You, my sweet,' he said, and her lips trembled convulsively.

  'I wonder?'

  'My love? What is this?' He extended a hand imperatively. 'Come here.' She obeyed and he pulled her on to his knee. 'My beautiful Lucinda, each day I learn something new about you. I've just discovered I've a temperamental wife."

  She leant against him, put her cheek to his. Her lids fluttered down, as if shutting out the pain of tears pressing hard against the backs of her eyes.

  'I'm not temperamental, Paul just terribly afraid.'

  'Afraid?' His brows lifted a fraction, but otherwise he remained unmoved by the pleading, trembling tones. 'What is there for you to be afraid of?'

  She shook her head dumbly. He was not in the right mood to listen to her fears.

  'Don't heed it,' she said after a while, trying to bring a brighter note to her voice. 'I'm a little tired today; I suppose it must be the heat.'

  'I think perhaps you are not too well, my love, for you haven't been yourself for several days now.'

  She sat up straight, scanning his dark features.

  Surely he knew the cause of this change in her? Surely he was a ware of the change which had taken place in

  his own behaviour towards her? And yet he did seem on the surface to be totally oblivious of having done anything to cause her pain.

  She pressed closer to him and his arms tightened lovingly.

  'We won't change, Paul. Promise me we won't change.'

  'Darling, what is the matter? Aren't you happy?'

  'Last week at Famagusta, you were so angry about Martin, and there was no need to be, and and since then you've been sort of cold.'

  A protesting little laugh escaped him, 'Am I cold now?'

  'No, but—'

  'I admit I 'was jealous of that fellow, whoever he was, But I soon got over it, now didn't I' He spoke soothingly, as if to a fractious child. 'And we did have a wonderful making up surely you'll agree about that?'

  Yes, she agreed. After this angry outburst he had held her so tenderly, and later, as always, he had transported her to the heights. But on the homeward journey, a couple of days later, when she had been forced to make an emergency stop owing to a child's running into the road, he had treated her to the most angry tirade, making her far more nervous than she already was, and bringing her hurtling down once more to the depths.

  'Pull yourself together! We're not going to drive all the way home at a speed of five miles an hour, I hope!'

  'I'm all shaking, Paul. You d don't realize. I m missed the child b by inches.'

  'Well, you did miss him, so what all the fuss is about I don't know. If you're as nervous a driver as this you'd better give it up!'

  As a result of his sharp manner, Tessa made the most fatal mistake possible.

  'You didn't see what happened. The little boy ran from behind a cart!'

  An awful silence. Tessa's foot shook on the accelerator.

  'You're quite right, Lucinda, I didn't see what happened.' No more than that, but those words, and the inflection in his voice as he said them, left the most profound impression on Tessa. .

  Had he made a deliberate attempt to wound? But if so, then it would seem that he had stopped loving her. All the way home she suffered agonies from the lash of those words. And that night Paul had gone to his own room, to the room he had used before she became his wife.

  But the following day he had been full of remorse, and so tender and loving was his manner that her happiness was restored and she was soon responding to his kisses, freely giving all her love.

  'As for my being cold really, Lucinda, I'm beginning to think you have a rather vivid imagination.' 'You don't admit to being cold?' ,

  'Most certainly not.'

  'Tell me, Paul, are you as happy as you were at the beginning?'

  'What do you mean by "at the beginning"?' Another reference to the past. How subtle he was!

  'During those first two or three weeks of our marriage?'

  He gave a little shrug. .

  'A honeymoon doesn't last all your life, my dear.' 'It usually lasts more than a month.' He gave her a little shake.

  'That imagination of yours again I We're just as happy as we were at first, only we've settled down to well, to routine. Now stop being silly and fetch the newspaper. I want nothing more than to sit back in my chair and listen to that very beautiful voice of yours.'

  Tessa did as she was told, but there was a permanent ache in her heart now. It was no use pretending, something had happened to their marriage. She no longer nursed with desperation the idea that her husband's inconsistency resulted from his affliction. She had known little of his nature when she married him, but now she had learned that he was a man of moods, moods which varied from slight impatience to violent anger, from near indifference to strong and deep emotions of love ... or what appeared to be love. For the first time, as she sat there reading to him and yet not herself absorbing what she read, Tessa asked herself if he really loved her or Lucinda, as she was supposed to be. She read on, her lovely voice more musical than ever in the clear air coining softl' down from the mountains. And all the time her thoughts were elsewhere. She went over her life during these past weeks, saw, the change in Paul as something almost imperceptible at first, causing her slight uneasiness but certainly not pain. Gradually, in a manner vague and almost indefinable, the metamorphosis

  had taken place. Slowly, slowly…. Paul had used those words, she recalled, and in the most odd sort of tone. An idea came to her, an idea that caused her eyes to widen and her mind to recapture what her father had written when he learned of her intention to impersonate her sister and marry Paul.

  An inherent streak of cruelty, her father had mentioned, going on to say that he could more easily see Paul as the merciless avenger, devising some fiendish plot to punish Lucinda, …

  Tessa stopped reading, for terror filled her. On deciding to marry Paul she had hoped to supplant the love he had for her sister, but at the same time she would return to him all that was in her heart to give. Supposing ... just supposing his love for Lucinda were dead, had been killed by her callous behaviour, Then Paul could have married for revenge. The newspaper fluttered in the breeze; it fell from Tessa's, trembling fingers and one large sheet was whipped away to be caught in the thorns of a giant cactus growing on the other side of the courtyard. She was only vaguely aware of what was happening, for her eyes and her mind were occupied with her husband. If punishment were his aim, and this slow and concentrated torture were his way ... then into what black abyss would she ultimately be hurled?

  Paul lifted his head interrogatingly. 'Tired, sweetheart? Or is it thirsty work? I think we'll have a coffee break.'

  She hesitated; should she acquaint him with her suspicions? But no suitable words came to her and' she merely said she would go in to the house and prepare the coffee. Paul was leaning right back in the chair when she returned to the garden with the tray. His head was on his chest as if he were deep in thought.

  Putting the tray on the table, she straightened up. He seemed unaware of her presence and she spoke to him softly, telling him his coffee was there, and that she had sweetened it for him.
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  A quick frown darkened his brow. 'I didn't want sugar! '

  She swallowed hard.

  'You always have sugar—'

  'I do not! In any case, I could get it myself! Must you insist on carrying me about as if I were a baby?'

  White to the lips, Tessa offered to make him some fresh coffee; he said nothing, but his mouth was tight and hard. She went into the house and prepared more coffee for him.

  'It's here, Paul. on the corner of the table.'

  His mouth was still compressed and as he reached out, feeling for the cup, she saw that his fingers were slightly stiff, as though he were affected by some inner tension. At the side of his throat a muscle pulsated, adding strength to the impression of his being gripped by some strong emotion.

  'Where are you?' he asked, putting the cup to his lips.

  'Here, by the table.' ,'Have you your coffee?'

  'I have it, yes.' Taking her cup and saucer from the tray, she sat down. But the coffee choked her, for her throat was blocked by fear. .

  'Why aren't you' near me?' Paul replaced the cup on its saucer and extended, a hand in the familiar gesture that had always brought from Tessa an eager response. She gave him her hand now, but there was a listlessness about her that was instantly communicated to him. 'I'm sorry, darling. Was I sharp with you?'

  Her face was still drained of colour. 'It doesn't matter, Paul.'

  'You're not happy, my love. Come and kiss me and say I'm forgiven.'

  Gently she withdrew her hand. Her voice was quiet yet firm as she said, 'Are you content, Paul?'

  'On top of the world! Don't I possess the most adoring wife a man could have?'

  She forgot her role, no longer identified herself with Lucinda. She was Tessa, and Paul was the husband whom she loved. 'I care very deeply for you,' she said simply. 'I want to make up for everything. When I married you, It was because I loved you had always loved you, since the day we met. I hoped we'd be happy together for always.'

  'You wanted to make up for everything.' He spoke to himself, considering her statement. And then he added, as if reaching a decision, 'But you are making up for everything, Lucinda. Your love this love you say you've had for me right from the beginning, it is all I need. I want you to love me forever; I want to know that you'll never change.'

  She stared at him, bewildered and afraid.

  'I don't understand you, Paul. It was so wonderful but now—Darling,. what's happening? I've just had the most dreadful idea and and I'm so unhappy.'

  She paused a moment, but as he made no comment she added, 'I'm not changing but you are.'

  'What idea is this, Lucinda?' he asked, ignoring her final remark. 'You're becoming fanciful, my dear.'

  No answer. She sensed a return of the tautness she had noticed a few moments earlier. He repeated his question, in tones of firm insistency. There could be no evasion and she became so tensed herself that she scarcely knew what she said.

  'It's so hard to explain. When Father wrote he mentioned—' She stopped, trembling, but Paul urged softly,

  'Yes, Lucinda, your father mentioned ... ?' Feeling for the table, he put down his cup and saucer. 'You read all your father's letters to me, don't you?' Playing with her again, but this time in a different way. She decided to reveal her suspicions,

  'In the first letter he wrote Father expressed surprise that you'd so quickly forgiven me,'

  Paul turned his head in her direction, but it was an eternity before he spoke.

  'What else did your father say?'

  'He felt thought you would have desired revenge.' No comment. Tessa was determined to know the truth. 'Do you want revenge, Paul?'

  'What exactly are you asking me, Lucinda?'

  'I've been wondering about the change in you,' Her heart throbbed painfully, but she kept her voice steady and controlled. 'At first you appeared to love me, but gradually you changed making me happy, and then miserable.' She paused, for a transformation was taking place in his features. Not a trace of softness left .... 'That isn't the way to treat a wife ' '

  'Are you complaining of your life?' There was a low vibrancy to his voice, the first real indication that he was keeping a rein on some powerful emotion. "Surely you're not becoming dissatisfied already? We've been married only a few weeks.'

  'That's what I've been trying to say,' she persevered, referring only to his last remark. 'In so short a time we've you've changed, I didn't expect—'

  'Expect' The mask was off, the tension released.

  His dark face contorted; he was like some savage primitive, merciless. 'What did you expect? to find an adoring lover, eager and willing to take you back, humbly grateful for what you had to offer?' He paused, black hatred portrayed in the twist of his lips. 'What an opinion you have of yourself I meant to delay the final blow for some considerable time, but as you've chosen to bring the matter into the open here's the truth; I married you for the sale purpose of revenge. So you can send your father my congratulations. I always did respect his powers of perception."

  Tessa had known it, yet the shock made her almost physically ill. 'You' never loved me ... ?' She twisted her hand convulsively. 'From the first moment it was pretence" She recalled the hope in her heart at his ready forgiveness, the strength of her determination to make him happy, the depth of her gratitude that her life would be spent by the side of the man she loved.

  'Love? I've never loved you since the day you threw me over! Oh, yes, I know what you're going to say I promised to forgive you, said that you could come back to me if ever you wished, but if you weren't so smug, so utterly bloated with your own self esteem you'd have guessed at once my intention was to pay you back.' His lip curled with contempt. 'Just to think of your vanity sickens me. You had the audacity to come here, calmly expressing contrition and expecting instant forgiveness.' He turned 'his head away in a gesture of disgust. 'What sort of a woman are you to take my forgiveness forgranted - to expect it as your due? Not a sign of surprise when I took you back without one word of recrimination or blame—I repeat, your vanity sickens me; and I now wonder how I could ever have given you a second glance '

  Tessa sat there, trembling from head to foot, enduring all that was meant for Lucinda, and powerless to vindicate herself. She spoke at last, when a long silence had reigned, and her voice held a desperate plea.

  'Paul, haven't I given you anything? We've been so happy'

  'You've, been happy, basking in your own sublime conceit. As to what you've given me .. .' His voice dropped to a low snarl and on his taut face a greyness was creeping under the tan of the skin. 'Darkness for life, that's what you've given me Nothing more, Lucinda, remember that! You've given me nothing more and never can'

  'No, oh no, don't say such things' she cried in anguish, her hands extended before his unseeing gaze, 'I have given you something more! I can give you so much ' Paul.' she whispered on a low despairing sob, 'won't you let me try?' But hope had died, and Tessa felt her heart was dead too, savagely torn to shreds by the talons of her husband's hate. 'What what would you have me do?' No emotion in her.' voice now; she was frozen with dread that this was the final scene in Paul's act, that although the curtain fall had come sooner than he intended, he would send her from him, out of his life for ever.

  He leant pack in his chair his hands clenched in his lap, his features so transfigured by' the depth of his 'hate that he seemed a totally different being from the man she loved.

  'You must do as your heart dictates, Lucinda.' he answered softly, and into the venom there intruded a hint of triumph. 'You yourself will choose the path you desire to follow.'

  'Do as your heart dictates ... .' her father's words repeated. '

  'You will let me stay?'

  The triumph was manifested in the curl of his lips., 'You know what to expect?'

  Trembling hands were raised to Tessa's face; she pressed her fingers to her eyes, as if to relieve the weight of tears, tears that strove for release against a barrier of frozen despair, 'I know what to expect.' The words were scarcely audible and Paul jerked his head in an endeavour to catch them. 'I know what to expect,' she repeated, a little louder, and a sneer touched his mouth.

  'What a pity, Lucinda, you didn't realize the strength of your love at the time of the accident. You firmly believed then you could do without me, didn't you? And look where your mistake has led you. Your life's finished, Lucinda, for I mean to drag you down to the very depths of hopelessness and misery,'