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'So I see.'
'Come and shake hands with Auntie Gail,' Manda invited, beckoning to the two standing by the door.
'They're shy,' laughed Simon. 'Come on, Auntie Gail won't eat you!'
'How do you do?' Robbie came first, extending a small, and not very clean, hand.
'I'm pleased to meet you, Robbie.' Gail looked at him. Sturdy and strong, with firm features even at this early age. 'And this is your sister?'
'I'm Shena.' She examined Gail suspiciously before holding out her hand. Neither so warm nor so spontaneous as her brother, Gail decided, and an unaccountable frown touched her brow. 'Are you staying here?'
'For a little while.' The hand was cold, and with- drawn swiftly.
'Come and play with us,' invited Simon. 'Like you always do.'
'Auntie Gail is having her tea.' Gail did eventually go out and they all played cricket on the lawn. The following day she and Heather took the children to the woods and on the Sunday Roger took them for a drive and they stopped at a little country inn for tea. Manda and Simon had the following two days off school, it being the half-term break, and as the weather remained fine and warm they all spent their time out of doors. 'You love it, don't you?' commented Heather in one unguarded moment, and mail nodded wistfully. She was in her element, but the days went by far too
quickly and although in some strange way she was looking forward to meeting the children's father she was sadly regretting this swift passage of time. He arrived just before dinner on the Wednesday, Roger having met him at the station, for he had left his car in one of Roger's garages and gone to London by train. Gail was upstairs, changing, when she saw the car stop in the drive.
She stood by the window as the two men alighted. Tall and upright, with broad powerful shoulders, Andrew MacNeill made an impressive figure. But he had turned towards the house before Gail could examine his features, and she proceeded with her dressing. Taking a last look at herself in the mirror, and making sure the half-fringe was fixed exactly in place, she went downstairs and into the sitting-room where her sister and brother- in-law were having a drink with their guest.
Andrew turned as she entered, flicked her an indifferent glance and then continued his conversation with Roger. Not very good manners ... and yet for some reason Gail excused him. Roger smiled and spoke quickly. Her hand was taken in a grasp that made her wince, but after the brief introduction Andrew lost interest in her. He also practically ignored Heather, who made a face behind his back and invited Gail to help her with the dinner. 'Aren't Trudy and Louise doing it?' Gail asked as they went along the short corridor.
'Yes, but I had to get away. Isn't he just too insufferable!' she exclaimed disgustedly. 'Roger'll be so cross with me, but I'm not pandering to his pompous ill- mannered friends!'
'Has he more like that?' laughed Gail. 'One friend, then,' returned Heather angrily. 'There couldn't possibly be more like him I'
'Perhaps he prefers men's company,' said Gail as they entered the kitchen.
'Perhaps?' Heather raised her brows. 'He definitely does prefer men's company.'
'Are you talking of-Mr. MacNeill?' Louise wanted to know, taking the joint from the oven.
'None other, Louise.'
'He's the handsomest man I've ever seen,' was the soulful response. 'Masterful, too, just like the films, if you know what I mean.'
Gail met her sister's glance and they both laughed.
'Louise has fallen for him,' submitted Trudy.
'There's no accounting for tastes,' said Heather crisply. 'How is everything going?'
'Perfectly. I've excelled myself with the sauce. I hope Mr. MacNeill will like it.'
'We have two guests, Louise,' said Heather.
'Sorry,' Louise turned to Gail. 'I hope you will like the sauce, too, Miss Kersley.'
'I'm sure I shall, Louise. I've always said no one makes sauces like you.' Gail sat opposite to Andrew at dinner and as he afforded her no attention at all she could examine his face without embarrassment. Dark features, harsh and lean, a thrusting jaw and strong firm mouth. His black hair, waving slightly and greying at the temples, was brushed back from a lowering brow; his eyes were dark blue, hawk-like and piercing under thick, straight brows. Fierce he looked, and somehow barbaric. Yet the lines of his face and impressive air instantly stamped him a noble member of the Scottish aristocracy.
Inevitably he sensed her interest at last and turned a mild and arrogantly questioning stare in her direction. She flushed and glanced down at her plate. But she knew his eyes were still on her and involuntarily she touched the hair on her temple. She felt the scar through it and wondered why she should be concerned that it might just be visible. Much later she gathered from his conversation with
Roger that he had not been successful in his quest for a suitable nanny, and much later still, Heather having gone upstairs and Roger having gone out to garage the car, Gail said a trifle breathlessly, 'My sister tells me you've been advertising for a nanny?'
'That is what I gave her and Roger to understand.' A deep voice, clipped and cool, but Gail scarcely noticed. For his answer was strange, and evasive, but she had no time to speak again because Trudy entered with the supper tray. A few minutes later Heather returned, but there was complete silence in the room until the appearance of Roger. 'Must you go tomorrow?' he asked. 'How about staying for a couple of days?' Heather's face was a study as she awaited Andrew's reply.
'I will.' The voice remained clipped, but it also contained a hint of dejection which was wholly out of character. However, his feelings, whatever they were, became successfully hidden as he began once again to chat with his friend.
From the first Robbie had taken to Gail, but his sister retained that air of suspicion. She was aloof, with a certain pride in her manner which seemed strange in so young a child. Nevertheless, all four children were ready to have Gail play with them and once or twice Gail caught Andrew looking oddly at her. This was very apparent when, one day after tea, Gail sat in the small sitting-room reading to them. They were all on' the rug at her feet with Robbie closest to her, his dark curly head resting against her knee. She glanced up to see Andrew standing in the doorway, his gaze fixed intently upon her. She stopped reading, embarrassed that he should be watching her, so silently.
'Oh, please go on, Auntie Gail,' begged Robbie, smiling up into her face. 'It's exciting!'
She returned his smile, wondering that he could have endeared himself to her in so short a time.
'You like the story?'
'It's a lovely story. No one ever reads to us at home.'
She glanced again at the tall: man in the doorway and would have closed her book for a moment or two, but he said quietly, 'Don't let me interrupt, Miss Kersley. The children are clearly absorbed.' And with that he stepped back and softly closed the door.
The following evening she was on the balcony, enjoying a few minutes' solitude before going to bed. She had said her good nights, and her goodbye to Andrew, who was leaving very early in the morning. It was a warm and peaceful atmosphere, with the moon sailing through the clouds and the air soft and still, but Gail was enveloped in a restlessness, a restlessness she knew full well resulted from the knowledge that she had said goodbye to Robbie and Shena forever, for it was mostly unlikely she would meet them again. Robbie had certainly reached her heart, and she thought that had she been fortunate enough to have had a son of her own she would have asked nothing more than that he could have been like Robbie. Suddenly she turned, every nerve quivering. Andrew had come from the room behind and was standing there, watching her. She turned again, half expecting him to retire into the room, but he stepped out on to the balcony and stood beside her, tall and straight and rather overpowering. 'It's a beautiful night.' She spoke hastily, feeling the silence must be broken before it became oppressive. 'I came out for a breath of fresh air before going to bed.' He made no comment and she continued with the same haste, 'It looks as if you'll have a good journey tomorrow.'
'
Most pleasant, I should say.'
'You have your car here, Heather tells me.'
'I have my car here.'
Why had he come to her? Up till now he had shown little interest in her-and that only when she was with the children. At all other times he did not spare her even a glance. Why had he come? she asked herself again, and although her heart was beginning to beat abnormally she was totally unprepared for his next words. 'Miss Kersley, I've watched you with my children, and as you know, I've been looking for someone to take care of them.'
'Yes,' she said breathlessly, her spirits soaring. 'You were looking for a nanny.' A small silence; the moon glided into the mask of cloud and for a while his face was cast into the shadows. 'I want someone to take care of my children.'
She waited. She knew what was coming- or thought she did. The moon reappeared; his face was harsh and set and he remained silent in thought. 'You-you haven't found a suitable nanny f- for them?' What answer must she give him when eventually the question did come? This was what she desired-to be with children, to have them in her care and be able to love them just as if they were her very own. Robbie she loved already, and he had an affection for her, but Shena...
'I wasn't looking for a nanny.'
'Not?' She stared uncomprehendingly. 'Heather said you'd advertised for one, and that was why you went to London.' Even as she spoke Gail recalled his evasive answer of a couple of nights ago. 'I did advertise for a nanny.' A long pause, and then, 'None of the applicants was suitable for my requirements.'
'I don't understand. You just said you weren't looking for a nanny.' What was the matter with him? He spoke in riddles. 'I'm looking for a wife. But naturally I couldn't advertise for one. I had hoped one of the applicants would prove suitable, but, as I've said, none of them did.' So coolly he spoke, and without the least trace of emotion or embarrassment. For a moment Gail wondered if he had proposed marriage to one of the applicants, but soon decided he had not.
'A wife, Mr. MacNeill?'
'My children are deprived-have been from the day they were born. Nannies are not the answer, even could I get one to stay. I want my children to have a mother.'
Why was he telling her this? She wondered, disappointment flooding over her. Only now did she know her answer would have been given eagerly; she would have accepted the post of nanny without a moment's hesitation.
'I see.' She raised her eyes and in them all her shattered hopes were revealed. 'I thought for a moment-for a moment-' She stopped as a break entered her voice. 'I thought you were going to offer me the post of nanny.'
'You would have accepted?'
She nodded miserably. 'Yes, Mr. MacNeill, I would have accepted.'
He moved, and leant his back against the stone support.
'And if I should ask you to care for them- as their mother?'
Of course; she should have known. And yet she stared speechlessly at him for a moment. But then her pulse started to race. To be a wife and a mother.... This was what she had longed for prior to the accident, what she had been so certain was to be her destiny. And this was what she had never thought to be after the accident had occurred and the doctor's verdict had been so gently given. But to marry a stranger ... surely such an action would be going to the extreme lengths of folly.
'I can't-I mean She stopped, uncertain and confused. 'It's impossible, Mr. MacNeill. We don't even know each other.'
'You were willing to accept the post of nanny?'
'Yes,' she interrupted breathlessly, hope rising again.
'Yes, I'll accept willingly.'
'The post I'm offering would be very little different. A business arrangement, but binding-very binding, Miss Kersley. For the sake of my children I must marry.' He waited, but Gail had nothing to say and he continued, 'You probably don't know about my elder daughter, but she was deprived of a mother's love and that deprivation has had disastrous results. She is quite beyond redemption. I shall not have my little ones go the same way.'
'Beyond redemption? How can you say that?'
'I hate to say it, naturally. Nevertheless, it's true. What's to become of her I do not know. I've tried, but a man's influence is not enough. She is lost to me, but Robbie and Shena aren't-at least not yet.'
'And they never will be,' she cried. 'They love you-I can tell they love you dearly.'
'Robbie loves me, that's true, but I'm not so sure of Shena. She's beginning to be a difficult child to approach-- ' He broke off and when he spoke again his voice was vibrant with emotion. 'Shena must not go the way of her sister!' Gail thought of what Heather had said- that Morag might not be Andrew's daughter, and as she looked up at him, seeing the fine character lines of his face, she felt that this could be true. Surely no daughter of his could be past redemption. And what a thing to say of a fifteen-year-old child. Could she help Morag? Gail wondered. Could she lead her on to the right path?
It was an hour later when Gail and Andrew entered the house. Heather and Roger had gone to bed and so had the maids. All was silent in the great room lit by one small table-lamp as, taking her hand in his, An-drew said unemotionally, 'It must be at once, Gail, you understand that?'
She nodded, wondering at this state of calm where fears could not intrude. 'Yes, Andrew, I understand.'
CHAPTER TWO
HEATHER paced the floor of her sister's room, her face white and strained. 'You're out of your mind, Gail. This obsession for children has affected your brain!'
'I'll be a wife and a mother. Surely you wouldn't deny me that?'
'You'll be neither. You're just deluding yourself. He's said it's to be nothing more than a business arrangement, so how can you be a wife?'
'Sex isn't everything-'
'You're normal; you'll meet someone who'll love you and give you the relationship which is natural. No one ever made a success of the sort of unnatural partnership you're contemplating.' She stopped by the chair where Gail was sitting, and looked down at her pleadingly. 'Think-for heaven's sake, think!'
'I've given him my answer, and I'm not going back on it.'
'You'd like to?' Heather seized on that, but Gail was shaking her head.
'I want to marry him,' she said simply.
Heather threw out her hands.
'You've seen what sort of man he is! He's hard and cruel!'
'Cruel?'
'Where are your eyes? Can't you read his face? And he doesn't like women, you've had proof in plenty of that during the past couple of days. Why, he hasn't the patience to speak to either of us.'
'It's of no importance that he doesn't like women, I'll only be there to look after the children. I don't suppose I'll come into contact with him all that often.' 'Not come into contact with your husband? What a life!' Gail shrugged.
'You know the position. I've explained it all to you. I'll be his wife-and I want to be a wife, Heather, just like any other woman-but we won't be making demands on one another. That's the only difference.'
'You'll be satisfied with an existence like that?'
'The step I'm taking is of my own choosing. I know exactly what to expect.' 'Business arrangement or not, the fact that he hates women is bound to affect you.'
'It's understandable that he doesn't like women,' returned Gail, veering the trend of conversation away from anything too personal.
'I give up! You'll not be making excuses for him a month from now!'
'A month?' Gail had to smile. 'You're not giving us very long.'
'He'll show you what he is immediately he gets you in his clutches.'
'Heather,' said Gail gently, 'don't be melodramatic.'
'How can a sensible, level-headed girl like you put her head in a noose without even a moment's consideration? Gail, you can't do this!'
'What can he do to me? He's an honourable man and I trust his word. All he wants is a mother for his children, and therefore he'll naturally treat me in a friendly way. As for anything else-well, he was perfectly frank and I accepted the proposal. In any case, we're strangers; a
closer relationship would be immoral.' 'You have some very odd ideas. But don't come to me when you discover you've made a complete hash of your life!' Heather began pacing the floor again. 'Beth won't believe it!'
'I'm old enough to shape my own life. I can love those children and if I can help Morag so much the better. I won't have wasted my life, Heather, and as things are now I feel it's being wasted. I can foresee nothing-nothing at all. Perhaps it's difficult for you to understand, because you have Roger and the children, but mine would be a very lonely future were I not to marry Andrew. No, I've made the right decision, and have no qualms at all.'
'Do you really feel you can help that girl when you've said her own father declares her to be past redemption?' Heather looked at Gail and shook her head. 'Would a man like Andrew admit defeat unless he was fully convinced he was defeated?' Gail frowned and said after a while, 'With regard to that I must agree he doesn't strike me as a man who would. Nevertheless, I can try.'
Heather glared at her.
'Why should you? She's her mother's daughter, and I've told you what Mary said. The girl isn't fit to live!'
'That's a strong statement, Heather. No one is as wicked as that.'
'Everyone can't be wrong. Are you saying her own father exaggerates?'
Gail turned away, her face white, her eyes clouded. 'I can try,' she said stubbornly at last. 'You'll fail.'
'Perhaps. But there are the other two. I can bring them up in the right way, so that Andrew can be proud of them. That will make up in some measure for Morag.'
'These heroics!'